Good Bye…

You would think that the night before I finally get to bring our girls home, that the title would be Hello.  Instead, tonight my heart is filled with good byes.  Yes, I’m filled with scattered emotions and numbness. I know I lose standing in the world of the macho male , but I’ve been on the edge of tears all weekend, especially today.  It started on Saturday, when we drove away from the crèche and knew they would never sleep there again.  I knew they were finally coming home after so many brutal drives away from the crèche knowing I couldn’t bring my daughters home.  I knew it was really going to happen, they were finally coming home.  Everything was finished.  We have their passports, their permission to travel, their visas, everything, there was NOTHING left except to get them on the plane and bring them home.

In fact, I battled with the reality that I just wanted to get out of Haiti and get them on that plane.  I contemplated checking with the airlines to see if there was a chance to get on a flight Sunday or Monday.  I knew we had to say goodbyes and allow the girls to transition out of their life at the crèche.  I knew Mommy needed to spend more time bonding with the girls before we left the country.  However, after all the problems, delays, and heartbreaking nonsense associated with our adoption, I just wanted to get them home fearing that something might happen before we could get them on that plane.  I know I need to be still and know that it is in His hands, but this Popi just wants to bring his girls home.

We hosted a going away party at the crèche this afternoon.  In the morning, Mom and the girls baked and frosted cupcakes, complete with sprinkles.  We filled a piñata full of candy.  We prepared the goodie bags for all of the children at the crèche.  Once we walked into the crèche and started preparing for the party it hit me; this was good bye.  Good bye, this is it.  In the beginning, it took us a couple months to get her admitted, but Jaline entered the crèche in December of 2012, as the first child.  After caring for my daughter for the past 28 months, it was time to say good bye.  It was time for Jaline to say good bye to her 1^st friend at the crèche.  Her first friend, Renalson, is an amazing boy that I have spent a great deal of time with over the past two years.  We had to say good bye today, and it was one of the hardest parts of leaving today.  He is very close to finishing his paperwork and finally coming home, but he had to watch as our girls left and he had to stay.  I know he has a family in the US that loves him and longs for him to finally come home.  I hugged him over and over again, talked to my buddy, and let him know that he will be coming home soon.  Yet, I wanted to pack him up and fly him home to the US, so the ridiculous wait could finally be over. 

He has a special place in my heart as do the others I refer to as the “Original 6”.  If you’re from Detroit, or one of the cities where the Original 6 NHL teams are from, you understand that reference.  The Original 6: Jaline, Renalson, Jameson, Lixson, Woodley, and Islande are the 1^st six children that started at Chances for Children’s crèche.  Marie Line came a bit later, since she wasn’t admitted to the crèche until September of 2011.  I’ve spent so much time with those children over the past two years.  While I always came to see my girls, I always believed it was important to love on each of them as much as I could.  I’ve known them since before some of their adoptive families.  I always loved them as I would want others to love on my girls, so they knew how special they were, so they knew they were loved, and they knew they weren’t forgotten, even when their parents had to go home without them.  Islande spent an hour sleeping on my shoulder today, craving love and just needing to be held.  I know her adoptive parents love her dearly and long for her to come home, but for today she got to sleep on my shoulder.  I’ve known her since she arrived with that big smile, especially when she’s supposed to be napping.  I could go on about each of them and it was so thrilling to see Jameson and Lixson lead the way home to their new families, as they arrived in the US on Saturday. 

With so many memories and bonds, it was hard to leave today, even knowing our girls were finally coming home.  Not for a minute do I want them to stay any longer, but it’s so difficult when people and a place have been such a huge part of your life for over two years.  When you reflect upon the numerous trips to the crèche and all the memories, it can be overwhelming.  I had to say goodbye as well as the girls.  Goodbye to all the mommies who have cared for and loved on my girls.  They’ve held them, bathed them, cared for them when they’ve been sick, prayed with them, fed them, sang with them, dressed them, made sure they did their homework, and many of them have loved them as their own, until today.  The day when good bye finally comes and their adoptive family can bring them home.  I owe so many of those ladies such a debt of gratitude for the way they’ve cared and the love they’ve shared with my girls.  It was so touching to see the tears of Madame Patric, who has been with Jaline since the beginning.  She’s so excited for the girls yet so sad to see Jaline go, because she was with her from the beginning.  From the time when my precious 3 ½ year old was so severely malnourished and had to have her hair shaved off so it could grow back healthy, she was there.   She and the others cared for my sick child when I was unable to and watched her transform into the healthy, smiling, giggling six year old that she is today.  As she said to us through a translator, "I have cared for her as if she was my own child."  It was fitting that one of Madame’s last acts of caring for Jaline today, was to braid her beautiful hair so she could be more stunning when she is welcomed home tomorrow, by a new team of family and friends that will love on her, help raise her, and care for her as so many have over the past two and a half years.

We have been blessed by the efforts of the team from Chances for Children, who have made our adoptions possible.  It was a Friday in October of 2010 at 5 pm, when Kathi Juntunen, answered my phone call, after I was told no and to basically give up on adopting our Jaline from Haiti.  I had been turned down by countless adoptions agencies all over the US, who said it was too difficult and I should consider another country.  Well, the Lord placed a precious child named Jaline on my heart in August of 2010, and there was no way we were going anywhere else.  I will forever be grateful that Kathi answered that call and said she would work with us.  She has spent countless hours building a special place for children who will be adopted, developing a network of amazing people who pour their hearts to the effort of uniting adoptive families and their children, and working with our family in the unique issues we have had with our adoption process.  She has been a lifesaver in the brutally complex world of international and specifically Haitian adoption. 

I have been so blessed by so many people from Chances for Children, who have worked to facilitate our adoption.  I have thanked many privately, but without their efforts we wouldn’t be coming home tomorrow.  Nathan, Pastor Maxime, Noah, Kelitta, Nicole, Vivian and everyone who’s helped us from C4C, your work is such a blessing to us adoptive parents and our children.  Some of you have had larger roles in my girls’ lives and adoptions, and you know how much you and your efforts mean to me and our family.  What you do is special, life changing, and will impact generations.  I know the trips up and down the mountain, the traffic, the endless paperwork, and the appointments can be monotonous and frustrating but know I will always be grateful.

 

With every good bye, each person who has invested in caring for our girls all said the same thing, "I am happy but I am sad too."  While it may be good bye today, it is Hello to an amazing future.  Some of my closest friends tell me that they believe this isn’t the end but the beginning.  I’m way too tired and emotionally exhausted right now to process that statement.  One marathon of a journey is about to end and a new one is about to begin.  I am overwhelmed with that reality, but for now I focus on that moment, when Samantha and I are sitting next to Jaline and Marie Line Fleurce Henderson and the plane lifts off the runway in Port au Prince.  April 2, 2013, the date when Jaline and Marie Line finally come HOME!