As we nestle ourselves into our home, Todd and I finally sat down and each wrote our own account of Tuesday, the day we came home.  Both accounts are posted here.  We realize they are long but so many of you have asked for details so here they are.

Mother of 5...

April 2, 2013

As we left the Guest House for the airport, the girls were giddy with excitement.   This is the day that they have heard so much about, the day they get to go home.  I don’t know if they truly understand what that means.  The day before, as we gathered our party stuff for the crèche, they kept gathering their things to take back.  As with every other time, they knew that the time at the Guest House with Popi always comes to an end and they must return.   As we pack our bags and prepare to leave, I wonder what is going through their heads.

We make our trek down the mountain through villages filled with vendors selling their wares.  Mangoes by the dozens, a chicken here and bins of rice and beans there; each village is virtually the same.  I wonder as our van snakes in and out of a sea of people if the girls know that this will be their last trip through Haiti.  The smells, the sounds the people will all soon change.

We arrive at the airport in plenty of time.  As we wait in line I can’t help wondering what people are thinking.  Do they think this is good?  Do they question our motives?  Do they understand the investment we have made in these girls for the last 2 ½ years?  Can they see my nervousness; can they see Popi’s trembling hand?  We proceed forward as if this is just another normal flight, but inside I’m terrified that someone will stop us.

Our first customs agent, clad in military boots and a handgun, asks to see our papers.  He suspiciously looks at each girl and each passport.  He writes their names down with no smile, no emotion.   He repeatedly looks at text messages on his phone.  Of course because I have been raised with American movie drama I actually wonder if he is getting a text from an official, questioning our departure.  Then I become more rational and think maybe it’s actually his girlfriend wondering if they are going out tonight.  He signs off and sends us on our way.  We check our bags, get our seats and proceed to the next agent.  Her expression is a bit more welcoming than the first.  She asks for papers and passports.  The airport loses power and she seems completely unaffected by it.  Lights dim, computer screens go blank and security belts stop.  Life in Haiti.  She asks for a copy of something and when Todd says he’s not sure what she is asking for, she calls another agent over.   They speak quickly in creole together, back and forth, with the latter seeming quite relaxed.  Oh how I wish I knew what they were saying!  She stamps all 4 passports and off we go! 

Since the time I stepped into the crèche on Saturday, Jaline has stuck to my side like honey on a bee.  “Mommy sit here.  Mommy by me.  Mommy look at me.”  Of course I love it!  I even love when the two of them fight over mommy because all too often I had dreams that the girls met me, didn’t like me or wanted nothing to do with me.  I’m lapping up this attention!   So it is fitting that Jaline sticks to me through the end of our journey.  As we sit and wait to board the plane I make up English word sheets with pictures for them to copy.  Jaline always looks up for my approval, “Mommy, look!”  as she waits to hear, “Good job!”  then smiles.  Of course in the duration of our wait the airport loses power once again, only this time for about 10 minutes and I wonder if this will affect departing flights.  Fortunately it does not!  As we wait we practice our English with pictures and words.  When I take them to the bathroom Marie Line heads towards the boys restroom.  I stop and show them the picture of a boy and the picture of a girl so they understand which one to go into.  With my uncanny ability to unknowingly end up in the men’s restroom on more than one occasion in the past,  Todd questions my competence in explaining this to them! 

It is finally time to board.  As I said in a previous email, I very much feel like Ben Affleck in the movie Argo.   My heart is pounding.  Once we board that plane and it is in flight, the Haitian government with all of its nonsensical red tape is behind us and they no longer have authority over my girls or our adoption.  Huge sigh of relief! 

Jaline is almost bouncing out of her seat with excitement.   Her smile has not waned since we entered the airport.  She looks outside her window and watches.  She and I started playing a little game when we would travel in the van much like the game “I spy” only I say, “Je vois…” which means “I see..” in French.  This is good for me as it forces me to remember French words.  As she looks out her window we again play the game, “Je vois….”  After we name all that we can see I tell her it is time to say goodbye to Ayiti.  We wave as the plane moves towards the runway.  Unexpectedly she says, “goodbye crèche,” and my heart melts.   She gets it.  She knows she is not returning to the crèche.   I try to harness my emotion as much as I can because as I look to my right, Popi has lost it.  His face is wet with tears and Marie Line looks to me like, “Is he ok?”  I remind the girls that people cry happy tears when they are very happy and it doesn’t mean they are sad.  I figure these girls need at least one parent who can talk with them without crying so I do my best to smile and continue the game, “Je vois…”  Jaline loves the plane.  She loves looking out the window.  She is smiling and giggling.  I love it. 

When we prepare for landing Jaline keeps saying, “Me-am-ee!!!” as she knows our first strop is Miami then home to Michigan.  When we land she says, “Airplane encore, mommy?”  which means are we going on the airplane again.  I say, “oui” and she smiles.  Many of you have asked how we communicate with the girls.  Todd’s creole is pretty good and manages to communicate well with them.  I have what I like to call “Franglish” which is me attempting to use as much French as I can remember and then filling in with English when I do not know the French words.  They seem to understand enough.  Often I say, “repetez” (to repeat) and I wonder if they are thinking their mommy is a little slow. 

We arrive at the gate and Todd and I prepare to walk as fast as we can to customs as we only have a little over two hours to complete everything before boarding our final plane to Detroit.  On a good day when I am walking with Todd  I always tell him, “for every step you take I have to take at least two!  Please slow down!”  Well today I have a carry on bag on my left shoulder and a 6 year old in my arms.  As he speeds ahead I say, “Uh my handicap is about a negative 2 right now!”  Thankfully he alters his pace.  Still we manage to be some of the first to hit the customs line.  As we hand our first agent the paperwork she says, after inquiring about our connecting flight, “Didn’t they tell you that you needed more time than that to clear customs and immigration?  I doubt you are going to make it.”  I said, “I know but we have a lot of people praying for us right now.”  She smiled. 

We moved on to the Immigration waiting room.  They took our paperwork and told us to sit and wait.  As I look around I say to Todd, “Seriously, there are bigger fish to fry in here than our little girls!”  There are signs everywhere that say no cameras and no cell phones.  Both of our phones are going crazy because Shelby and Spencer are texting us.  I take the girls into the bathroom to change their clothes and send a text to my sister, “Texting from bathroom in Immigration.  No phones allowed.  Tell my kids.”  Little did I know Todd was in the men’s room texting them as well.

Finally an agent comes out and says their names.  He hands us their passports and says, “You’re good to go.  You can check out in booth no.9.”  Wow.  That’s it?  I imagined us in a dimly lit room with a 2 way mirror answering questions in which I forget even my own name!  Soon that nervous tension that has weighed me down is finally gone and replaced by utter joy.  We are on our way with an hour to spare!!  Hallelujah!

We proceed to claim our baggage and head to our final gate.  Todd’s nervousness has not disappeared as quickly mine has.  We enter US customs once again and as we inquire about baggage location, I start to say to the customs agent that I don’t see our luggage and Todd turns around and says to me, "Zip it!”  I’m hysterically laughing  even as I type that  because Todd would never say that to me in a normal circumstance, but we all know, this is not our normal.  As much as I would normally fire something back, I turn and laugh because I see through him and know that Popi is still very nervous and not relaxed.  He won’t be until we take flight for the last time.

We grab a pizza and eat while waiting to board.  Jaline, who is far more expressive than Marie Line, is nearly bouncing up and down.  She does this thing where she shakes her hands up and down and says, “MICHIGAN” in a low growly voice.  Makes me laugh every time time.     We talk about Shelby, Spencer and Sophie waiting at the airport to greet us.  Smiles all around.  We board for the final time.  No more customs, no more immigration.  We are nearly home free.

This leg of our trip is the most uneventful as two tired girls succumb to naps.  Jaline falls asleep with me within minutes of takeoff.  She is out completely until I wake her up to land.  Marie Line and Todd are behind us a row.  Marie Line gets in a few hands of UNO with Popi until she too succumbs to sleep.  It is a quiet ride home.

Once we land it takes a little while for them to wake up; a potty stop and a splash of water on the face helps.   We make our way out of the terminal towards baggage claim where we know many are waiting.   As we approach, Sophie in her pink winter coat is the first person I spot.  I wave to her and soon I see her running towards us.  Only Sophie.  The others, including Shelby and Spencer gave her the space to meet her sisters first, without any one else there.  I don’t know if that was planned or not, but it touched me deeply that everyone in that crowd knew how important it was for Sophie, the last of the Hendo fam to meet her siblings.

We were greeted by signs, balloons and friends and family who marked this momentous occasion with us.  The girls were a bit shy and overwhelmed but eventually warmed up and smiled.  We all soaked up this moment that we have waited for.  I was so thrilled to see someone from different areas of our lives; family, camp friends, extended family, church friends and neighborhood friends, especially at such a late hour.  It was icing on the cake.

And for the first time, my family of seven piles into our vehicle as we strap in and head home. I look back and say, “I feel just like the Mom in Cheaper by the Dozen, or more appropriate, Cheaper by the Half-Dozen.  I lay my head back, close my eyes and smile.

 

Popi's Perspective...

Mommy and the girls are napping right now and the house is quiet for the first time since the girls arrived home at 1 in the morning last night.  I’m still processing everything we’ve experienced over the past few days.  The girls are FINALLY home and sleeping in THEIR beds.  We know that many challenges await, but we’ve had a great transition so far.  Laughter and giggles have filled the house.  After falling asleep at two in the morning and waking up at 7 am, there were bound to be naps today. 

On Tuesday, we arrived at the airport four hours before our flight out of Port au Prince.  Popi wasn’t taking any chances with car trouble, traffic, protests or any of the obstacles to getting places on time in Haiti.  We had our papers checked as we stood in line to check out luggage.  Yes, my hands shook as I handed the inspector our passports and papers.  After recording everything he handed our papers back and said we were all set.  Breathe…  Next, we checked our luggage and were assigned seats next to each other on the plane.  Next, passports and adoption paperwork had to be checked again, but this time far more thoroughly.  The government agent called another agent over and they exchanged questioning glances as they talked back and forth in creole and looked at our paperwork.   I have no idea what the agents are saying, but I don’t like the looks of it.  Finally they handed us our papers back and said we were all clear.  Breathe… So, we spent a few hours waiting in the Port au Prince airport waiting for our flight to board.   Wow, does that clock move slow!  Yet, we looked at pictures and videos on our phones of our family and the girls; yes, I have accumulated one or two pics and videos of the girls over the past 32 months. 

Finally, it was time to board.  I grabbed my backpack, which held all the girls’ paperwork  in folders and officially sealed envelopes for US Immigration, their passports stayed in my pocket, and we took our precious daughters hands and got in line.  Shaking, I handed our boarding passes and passports to the agent and we walked down the hall to the entry point for our plane.  Yes, as I stood in line, waiting in that hall, I looked both ways just to be sure nobody was coming, nobody was pointing, and nobody was going to say wait before we could board that plane.  Everything was clear.  Was this finally it?  Was it really going to happen?  The girls excitedly boarded the plane.  We got to our seats, but there were three seats on one side and one across the aisle.  Looks like Popi is going to have to sit across the aisle and hold Marie Line’s hand as we take off.  What?  Madame stewardess, are you sure my 8 year old can’t sit on my lap when we take off?  She’s actually kinda small for her age.  Do you not understand?  Ok, looks like Papi will get to look across the aisle, take pictures, hold Marie Line’s hand, and soak in the beauty of mommy sitting between her daughters, as they say “Goodbye Ayiti” and “Goodbye crèche”. 

Finally, we taxied down the runway, as I held Marie Line’s hand, looked into her eyes as she stared back into my tear filled eyes, with those eyes of hers that pierce my heart.  Those were the eyes that stared up at me from the one picture I had of her in the old orphanage, the day I found out that Jaline had a sister.  As the plane increased its speed, Jaline bounced up and down, looking out the window, Marie Line looked back and forth as we went faster and FINALLY the wheels left the ground, the plane pointed up and we were off.  It really happened, the plane left the ground and Samantha, Marie Line, Jaline, and I were really on our way!  Surreal.  Absolutely.  No other way to describe it.  Happy tears, as mommy explained to the girls.  Joy! Relief! Au revoir Ayiti!  I’ll be back, but it’s time these girls finally come home. 

As I tried to soak in the reality of what had just happened, I knew our next hurdle was US immigration.  Oh, Don’t worry, we enjoyed the flight.  Papi quickly moved over to Marie Line’s seat, she hopped on my lap, and the sticker book came out.  The crayons came out.  Disney princess coloring books.  Snacks.  Pretzels, cookies, cheese and crackers, a Kit Kat and juice.  Of course, Jaline saved some to bring to her brother and sisters.  Before we knew it, it was time to prepare for landing.  I couldn’t wait for those wheels to touch down, because American soil means the girls become US Citizens. Finally, those wheels touched the ground and a sense of relief hit me.  They’re not going back!  This is for real!  After all those months, trips, and heartache, it was officially official!! 

I was able to enjoy that for a few moments until my thoughts shifted back to rushing out of the airplane, rushing to customs, and trying to clear customs and get on our plane in two hours (which normally doesn’t happen.  It was so not-encouraging when our first customs agent asked to see our paperwork and asked when our connecting flight was.  When she heard that we were leaving in 2 hours, her response was “didn’t they tell you it would take longer than that to clear customs” and Samantha responded with “that’s ok we have lots of people praying”.  Well, we entered a waiting room and waited, and listened to a door click repeatedly as agents entered and left.  As I heard each click, I turned back to the door to see if our paperwork was done.  Fortunately, as we waited, Samantha changed our daughters into the cutest, most perfect dresses you can imagine for a welcome home.  It all gets a bit easier when you are captivated by the huge smiles, twirls, and beauty of your daughters.  They may have captured my heart wearing ill-fitting tattered clothing but they were ready to emerge from this process as princesses and a testament to our Lord’s handiwork.  Well, the door finally clicked for us, an agent came out holding two passports, called their names, and told us we were all set, in less than an hour. Done.  Finished.  Fini! That was it!  All that was left to do was get on that flight and introduce the girls to some of their extended family and friends that were waiting for our 11:15 pm arrival. 

One more flight.  More excited looks out the airplane windows.  More excited comments mixing creole and English.  Many games of Uno.  Fortunately, they each took a nap.  After arriving in Detroit, we were greeted by our three oldest children, family, and dear friends.  Papi got to take a step back and share his precious daughters with each of them.  I’ve been so excited for everyone to meet our amazing girls.  They are joyful, beautiful, and captivating but you would never know that they are the same children that stole my heart over two and a half years ago.  There are only a few people who saw first-hand how desperate Jaline’s health was 32 months ago, when I prayed nightly that our Lord would heal her and keep her alive until I could bring her home.  I prayed and begged that the few people I knew in Haiti would do everything they could to make sure she was fed and cared for until we could get her out of that orphanage and under better care.  Carrie Miller and Pat Curtis, thank you for loving my Jaline and being the hands of our Lord, in that desperate time. 

If you meet my Jaline today, you will never know just how bad it was.  You will see a completely transformed child.  It will be hard to imagine that her desperation, lifelessness, and starvation made it impossible for me to look away.  I never could have imagined that the amazing child that sleeps in our home tonight, would blossom from that frail child I met in August 2010.  I never saw Jaline smile during my first two trips to Haiti, yet it is her infectious smile that captivates those who meet her today.  If you are new to our story, you might want to read back to the beginning, because we started with one and ended up with two sisters.  The Lord had bigger plans for us.  His timeline was also a lot different from mine!  I’ve believed from the beginning that Jaline’s story was a lot bigger than her.  I had no idea that it would include her amazing sister Marie Line, and I have no idea how it will impact those who hear. 

I do know that I had no idea a few years ago that adoption would be in our family’s future.  I never could have conceived of this journey we have been on.  I do know that I thought my dear friends were crazy when they decided to adopt, a few years ago, after having four children already.  I had no idea that this father of three amazing children would be bringing home two more daughters, when most people are preparing to clear out rooms and send their kids off to college.  I had no idea until I opened my heart and said “Lord, I’m all in.”  On August 21, 2010, as I prepared to fly down to Haiti for the 1^st time,  I wrote “ I pray that my eyes and heart are open to those things I need to see.  Lord please show me your heart for me.  Show me your path.  Use me as you wish… I fall humbly before you with a willing heart.  My heart is wide open.  I bow before you and rest in your will.  Please continue to open doors and lead me in your path…”  I share this because I never could have imagined that adoption was in our family’s future.  I know it wasn’t in my plans, but I’ve learned I need to have an open and willing heart so I can see the beauty of our Lord’s handiwork.  I know I’ll always struggle with the reality of millions of orphans in this world.  I know I can’t make a difference for all of them, but I know that in one way or another we are all called to care for them.

I know I am blessed today, as my daughters sleep in their new beds.  I will confess that I was scared that it would be a rough transition, regardless of how much time I had spent with the girls previously.  My worst fear was trying to get my daughters on the plane and them protesting and not wanting to leave.  Yet, the reality is, they haven’t stopped smiling and giggling since we got to Haiti last Saturday.  They embrace their mommy, as if they were formed in her womb.  Jaline woke this morning and afternoon and immediately crawled into bed to lie next to her mommy.  This is how the girls started each day in Haiti. While we may be in the midst of a Honeymoon, it’s been an amazing Honeymoon, and all five of our children have been laughing and playing together, as their bonds tighten.  We know from other adoptive families that challenges often arrive later, but we will continue to pray that the girls transition smoothly to their new lives.  So far, it’s been truly amazing!  They seem so ready to be here.  They put their winter coats and gloves on and went outside to play today (life in Michigan).  Soccer, tennis, basketball, they tried it all as long as their brother and sister were playing with them.  Marie Line stepped away from family movie night tonight, so she could play with all the new bows, barrettes, hair bands, and hair decorations that she found from mommy.  Good times!  Good night and God Bless! Todd

 

 

 

Good Bye…

You would think that the night before I finally get to bring our girls home, that the title would be Hello.  Instead, tonight my heart is filled with good byes.  Yes, I’m filled with scattered emotions and numbness. I know I lose standing in the world of the macho male , but I’ve been on the edge of tears all weekend, especially today.  It started on Saturday, when we drove away from the crèche and knew they would never sleep there again.  I knew they were finally coming home after so many brutal drives away from the crèche knowing I couldn’t bring my daughters home.  I knew it was really going to happen, they were finally coming home.  Everything was finished.  We have their passports, their permission to travel, their visas, everything, there was NOTHING left except to get them on the plane and bring them home.

In fact, I battled with the reality that I just wanted to get out of Haiti and get them on that plane.  I contemplated checking with the airlines to see if there was a chance to get on a flight Sunday or Monday.  I knew we had to say goodbyes and allow the girls to transition out of their life at the crèche.  I knew Mommy needed to spend more time bonding with the girls before we left the country.  However, after all the problems, delays, and heartbreaking nonsense associated with our adoption, I just wanted to get them home fearing that something might happen before we could get them on that plane.  I know I need to be still and know that it is in His hands, but this Popi just wants to bring his girls home.

We hosted a going away party at the crèche this afternoon.  In the morning, Mom and the girls baked and frosted cupcakes, complete with sprinkles.  We filled a piñata full of candy.  We prepared the goodie bags for all of the children at the crèche.  Once we walked into the crèche and started preparing for the party it hit me; this was good bye.  Good bye, this is it.  In the beginning, it took us a couple months to get her admitted, but Jaline entered the crèche in December of 2012, as the first child.  After caring for my daughter for the past 28 months, it was time to say good bye.  It was time for Jaline to say good bye to her 1^st friend at the crèche.  Her first friend, Renalson, is an amazing boy that I have spent a great deal of time with over the past two years.  We had to say good bye today, and it was one of the hardest parts of leaving today.  He is very close to finishing his paperwork and finally coming home, but he had to watch as our girls left and he had to stay.  I know he has a family in the US that loves him and longs for him to finally come home.  I hugged him over and over again, talked to my buddy, and let him know that he will be coming home soon.  Yet, I wanted to pack him up and fly him home to the US, so the ridiculous wait could finally be over. 

He has a special place in my heart as do the others I refer to as the “Original 6”.  If you’re from Detroit, or one of the cities where the Original 6 NHL teams are from, you understand that reference.  The Original 6: Jaline, Renalson, Jameson, Lixson, Woodley, and Islande are the 1^st six children that started at Chances for Children’s crèche.  Marie Line came a bit later, since she wasn’t admitted to the crèche until September of 2011.  I’ve spent so much time with those children over the past two years.  While I always came to see my girls, I always believed it was important to love on each of them as much as I could.  I’ve known them since before some of their adoptive families.  I always loved them as I would want others to love on my girls, so they knew how special they were, so they knew they were loved, and they knew they weren’t forgotten, even when their parents had to go home without them.  Islande spent an hour sleeping on my shoulder today, craving love and just needing to be held.  I know her adoptive parents love her dearly and long for her to come home, but for today she got to sleep on my shoulder.  I’ve known her since she arrived with that big smile, especially when she’s supposed to be napping.  I could go on about each of them and it was so thrilling to see Jameson and Lixson lead the way home to their new families, as they arrived in the US on Saturday. 

With so many memories and bonds, it was hard to leave today, even knowing our girls were finally coming home.  Not for a minute do I want them to stay any longer, but it’s so difficult when people and a place have been such a huge part of your life for over two years.  When you reflect upon the numerous trips to the crèche and all the memories, it can be overwhelming.  I had to say goodbye as well as the girls.  Goodbye to all the mommies who have cared for and loved on my girls.  They’ve held them, bathed them, cared for them when they’ve been sick, prayed with them, fed them, sang with them, dressed them, made sure they did their homework, and many of them have loved them as their own, until today.  The day when good bye finally comes and their adoptive family can bring them home.  I owe so many of those ladies such a debt of gratitude for the way they’ve cared and the love they’ve shared with my girls.  It was so touching to see the tears of Madame Patric, who has been with Jaline since the beginning.  She’s so excited for the girls yet so sad to see Jaline go, because she was with her from the beginning.  From the time when my precious 3 ½ year old was so severely malnourished and had to have her hair shaved off so it could grow back healthy, she was there.   She and the others cared for my sick child when I was unable to and watched her transform into the healthy, smiling, giggling six year old that she is today.  As she said to us through a translator, "I have cared for her as if she was my own child."  It was fitting that one of Madame’s last acts of caring for Jaline today, was to braid her beautiful hair so she could be more stunning when she is welcomed home tomorrow, by a new team of family and friends that will love on her, help raise her, and care for her as so many have over the past two and a half years.

We have been blessed by the efforts of the team from Chances for Children, who have made our adoptions possible.  It was a Friday in October of 2010 at 5 pm, when Kathi Juntunen, answered my phone call, after I was told no and to basically give up on adopting our Jaline from Haiti.  I had been turned down by countless adoptions agencies all over the US, who said it was too difficult and I should consider another country.  Well, the Lord placed a precious child named Jaline on my heart in August of 2010, and there was no way we were going anywhere else.  I will forever be grateful that Kathi answered that call and said she would work with us.  She has spent countless hours building a special place for children who will be adopted, developing a network of amazing people who pour their hearts to the effort of uniting adoptive families and their children, and working with our family in the unique issues we have had with our adoption process.  She has been a lifesaver in the brutally complex world of international and specifically Haitian adoption. 

I have been so blessed by so many people from Chances for Children, who have worked to facilitate our adoption.  I have thanked many privately, but without their efforts we wouldn’t be coming home tomorrow.  Nathan, Pastor Maxime, Noah, Kelitta, Nicole, Vivian and everyone who’s helped us from C4C, your work is such a blessing to us adoptive parents and our children.  Some of you have had larger roles in my girls’ lives and adoptions, and you know how much you and your efforts mean to me and our family.  What you do is special, life changing, and will impact generations.  I know the trips up and down the mountain, the traffic, the endless paperwork, and the appointments can be monotonous and frustrating but know I will always be grateful.

 

With every good bye, each person who has invested in caring for our girls all said the same thing, "I am happy but I am sad too."  While it may be good bye today, it is Hello to an amazing future.  Some of my closest friends tell me that they believe this isn’t the end but the beginning.  I’m way too tired and emotionally exhausted right now to process that statement.  One marathon of a journey is about to end and a new one is about to begin.  I am overwhelmed with that reality, but for now I focus on that moment, when Samantha and I are sitting next to Jaline and Marie Line Fleurce Henderson and the plane lifts off the runway in Port au Prince.  April 2, 2013, the date when Jaline and Marie Line finally come HOME!