Mother of 5...
April 2, 2013
As we left the Guest House for the airport, the girls were
giddy with excitement. This is the day that they have heard so much
about, the day they get to go home. I
don’t know if they truly understand what that means. The day before, as we gathered our party
stuff for the crèche, they kept gathering their things to take back. As with every other time, they knew that the time
at the Guest House with Popi always comes to an end and they must return. As we
pack our bags and prepare to leave, I wonder what is going through their heads.
We make our trek down the mountain through villages filled
with vendors selling their wares.
Mangoes by the dozens, a chicken here and bins of rice and beans there;
each village is virtually the same. I
wonder as our van snakes in and out of a sea of people if the girls know that this
will be their last trip through Haiti.
The smells, the sounds the people will all soon change.
We arrive at the airport in plenty of time. As we wait in line I can’t help wondering
what people are thinking. Do they think
this is good? Do they question our
motives? Do they understand the
investment we have made in these girls for the last 2 ½ years? Can they see my nervousness; can they see
Popi’s trembling hand? We proceed
forward as if this is just another normal flight, but inside I’m terrified that
someone will stop us.
Our first customs agent, clad in military boots and a
handgun, asks to see our papers. He
suspiciously looks at each girl and each passport. He writes their names down with no smile, no
emotion. He repeatedly looks at text messages on his
phone. Of course because I have been raised
with American movie drama I actually wonder if he is getting a text from an
official, questioning our departure.
Then I become more rational and think maybe it’s actually his girlfriend
wondering if they are going out tonight.
He signs off and sends us on our way.
We check our bags, get our seats and proceed to the next agent. Her expression is a bit more welcoming than
the first. She asks for papers and
passports. The airport loses power and
she seems completely unaffected by it.
Lights dim, computer screens go blank and security belts stop. Life in Haiti.
She asks for a copy of something and when Todd says he’s not sure what
she is asking for, she calls another agent over. They speak quickly in creole together, back
and forth, with the latter seeming quite relaxed. Oh how I wish I knew what they were
saying! She stamps all 4 passports and
off we go!
Since the time I stepped into the crèche on Saturday, Jaline
has stuck to my side like honey on a bee.
“Mommy sit here. Mommy by
me. Mommy look at me.” Of course I love it! I even love when the two of them fight over
mommy because all too often I had dreams that the girls met me, didn’t like me
or wanted nothing to do with me. I’m
lapping up this attention! So it is
fitting that Jaline sticks to me through the end of our journey. As we sit and wait to board the plane I make
up English word sheets with pictures for them to copy. Jaline always looks up for my approval, “Mommy,
look!” as she waits to hear, “Good job!” then smiles.
Of course in the duration of our wait the airport loses power once
again, only this time for about 10 minutes and I wonder if this will affect
departing flights. Fortunately it does
not! As we wait we practice our English
with pictures and words. When I take
them to the bathroom Marie Line heads towards the boys restroom. I stop and show them the picture of a boy and
the picture of a girl so they understand which one to go into. With my uncanny ability to unknowingly end up
in the men’s restroom on more than one occasion in the past, Todd questions my competence in explaining
this to them!
It is finally time to board.
As I said in a previous email, I very much feel like Ben Affleck in the
movie Argo. My heart is
pounding. Once we board that plane and
it is in flight, the Haitian government with all of its nonsensical red tape is
behind us and they no longer have authority over my girls or our adoption. Huge sigh of relief!
Jaline is almost bouncing out of her seat with
excitement. Her smile has not waned
since we entered the airport. She looks
outside her window and watches. She and
I started playing a little game when we would travel in the van much like the
game “I spy” only I say, “Je vois…” which means “I see..” in French. This is good for me as it forces me to
remember French words. As she looks out
her window we again play the game, “Je vois….”
After we name all that we can see I tell her it is time to say goodbye
to Ayiti. We wave as the plane moves
towards the runway. Unexpectedly she
says, “goodbye crèche,” and my heart melts.
She gets it. She knows she is not
returning to the crèche. I try to harness my emotion as much as I can
because as I look to my right, Popi has lost it. His face is wet with tears and Marie Line
looks to me like, “Is he ok?” I remind
the girls that people cry happy tears when they are very happy and it doesn’t mean
they are sad. I figure these girls need
at least one parent who can talk with them without crying so I do my best to
smile and continue the game, “Je vois…” Jaline
loves the plane. She loves looking out
the window. She is smiling and
giggling. I love it.
When we prepare for landing Jaline keeps saying, “Me-am-ee!!!”
as she knows our first strop is Miami then home to Michigan. When we land she says, “Airplane encore,
mommy?” which means are we going on the airplane
again. I say, “oui” and she smiles. Many of you have asked how we communicate with
the girls. Todd’s creole is pretty good
and manages to communicate well with them.
I have what I like to call “Franglish” which is me attempting to use as
much French as I can remember and then filling in with English when I do not
know the French words. They seem to understand
enough. Often I say, “repetez” (to
repeat) and I wonder if they are thinking their mommy is a little slow.
We arrive at the gate and Todd and I prepare to walk as fast
as we can to customs as we only have a little over two hours to complete
everything before boarding our final plane to Detroit. On a good day when I am walking with
Todd I always tell him, “for every step
you take I have to take at least two! Please
slow down!” Well today I have a carry on
bag on my left shoulder and a 6 year old in my arms. As he speeds ahead I say, “Uh my handicap is
about a negative 2 right now!”
Thankfully he alters his pace.
Still we manage to be some of the first to hit the customs line. As we hand our first agent the paperwork she
says, after inquiring about our connecting flight, “Didn’t they tell you that
you needed more time than that to clear customs and immigration? I doubt you are going to make it.” I said, “I know but we have a lot of people
praying for us right now.” She smiled.
We moved on to the Immigration waiting room. They took our paperwork and told us to sit
and wait. As I look around I say to
Todd, “Seriously, there are bigger fish to fry in here than our little girls!” There are signs everywhere that say no
cameras and no cell phones. Both of our
phones are going crazy because Shelby and Spencer are texting us. I take the girls into the bathroom to change their
clothes and send a text to my sister, “Texting from bathroom in Immigration. No phones allowed. Tell my kids.” Little did I know Todd was in the men’s room
texting them as well.
Finally an agent comes out and says their names. He hands us their passports and says, “You’re
good to go. You can check out in booth
no.9.” Wow. That’s it?
I imagined us in a dimly lit room with a 2 way mirror answering
questions in which I forget even my own name!
Soon that nervous tension that has weighed me down is finally gone and
replaced by utter joy. We are on our way
with an hour to spare!! Hallelujah!
We proceed to claim our baggage and head to our final
gate. Todd’s nervousness has not
disappeared as quickly mine has. We
enter US customs once again and as we inquire about baggage location, I start
to say to the customs agent that I don’t see our luggage and Todd turns around and says to me, "Zip it!” I’m hysterically laughing even as I type that because Todd would never say that to me in a
normal circumstance, but we all know, this is not our normal. As much as I would normally fire something
back, I turn and laugh because I see through him and know that Popi is still
very nervous and not relaxed. He won’t be until we take flight for the last time.
We grab a pizza and eat while waiting to board. Jaline, who is far more expressive than Marie
Line, is nearly bouncing up and down.
She does this thing where she shakes her hands up and down and says, “MICHIGAN”
in a low growly voice. Makes me laugh
every time time. We
talk about Shelby, Spencer and Sophie waiting at the airport to greet us. Smiles all around. We board for the final time. No more customs, no more immigration. We are nearly home free.
This leg of our trip is the most uneventful as two tired
girls succumb to naps. Jaline falls
asleep with me within minutes of takeoff.
She is out completely until I wake her up to land. Marie Line and Todd are behind us a row. Marie Line gets in a few hands of UNO with
Popi until she too succumbs to sleep. It
is a quiet ride home.
Once we land it takes a little while for them to wake up; a
potty stop and a splash of water on the face helps. We make our way out of the terminal towards
baggage claim where we know many are waiting.
As we approach, Sophie in her pink winter coat is the first person I
spot. I wave to her and soon I see her
running towards us. Only Sophie. The others, including Shelby and Spencer gave
her the space to meet her sisters first, without any one else there. I don’t know if that was planned or not, but
it touched me deeply that everyone in that crowd knew how important it was for
Sophie, the last of the Hendo fam to meet her siblings.
We were greeted by signs, balloons and friends and family
who marked this momentous occasion with us.
The girls were a bit shy and overwhelmed but eventually warmed up and
smiled. We all soaked up this moment
that we have waited for. I was so
thrilled to see someone from different areas of our lives; family, camp
friends, extended family, church friends and neighborhood friends, especially
at such a late hour. It was icing on the
cake.
And for the first time, my family of seven piles into our
vehicle as we strap in and head home. I look back and say, “I feel just like
the Mom in Cheaper by the Dozen, or
more appropriate, Cheaper by the
Half-Dozen. I lay my head back,
close my eyes and smile.
Popi's Perspective...
Mommy and the girls are napping right now and the house is
quiet for the first time since the girls arrived home at 1 in the morning last
night. I’m still processing everything
we’ve experienced over the past few days.
The girls are FINALLY home and sleeping in THEIR beds. We know that many challenges await, but we’ve
had a great transition so far. Laughter
and giggles have filled the house. After
falling asleep at two in the morning and waking up at 7 am, there were bound to
be naps today.
On Tuesday, we arrived at the airport four hours before our
flight out of Port au Prince. Popi wasn’t
taking any chances with car trouble, traffic, protests or any of the obstacles
to getting places on time in Haiti. We
had our papers checked as we stood in line to check out luggage. Yes, my hands shook as I handed the inspector
our passports and papers. After
recording everything he handed our papers back and said we were all set. Breathe…
Next, we checked our luggage and were assigned seats next to each other on
the plane. Next, passports and adoption
paperwork had to be checked again, but this time far more thoroughly. The government agent called another agent
over and they exchanged questioning glances as they talked back and forth in
creole and looked at our paperwork. I have no idea what the agents are saying, but
I don’t like the looks of it. Finally
they handed us our papers back and said we were all clear. Breathe… So, we spent a few hours waiting in the
Port au Prince airport waiting for our flight to board. Wow,
does that clock move slow! Yet, we looked
at pictures and videos on our phones of our family and the girls; yes, I have
accumulated one or two pics and videos of the girls over the past 32
months.
Finally, it was time to board. I grabbed my backpack, which held all the
girls’ paperwork in folders and officially
sealed envelopes for US Immigration, their passports stayed in my pocket, and we
took our precious daughters hands and got in line. Shaking, I handed our boarding passes and
passports to the agent and we walked down the hall to the entry point for our
plane. Yes, as I stood in line, waiting
in that hall, I looked both ways just to be sure nobody was coming, nobody was
pointing, and nobody was going to say wait before we could board that
plane. Everything was clear. Was this finally it? Was it really going to happen? The girls excitedly boarded the plane. We got to our seats, but there were three seats
on one side and one across the aisle.
Looks like Popi is going to have to sit across the aisle and hold Marie
Line’s hand as we take off. What? Madame stewardess, are you sure my 8 year old
can’t sit on my lap when we take off?
She’s actually kinda small for her age.
Do you not understand? Ok, looks
like Papi will get to look across the aisle, take pictures, hold Marie Line’s
hand, and soak in the beauty of mommy sitting between her daughters, as they
say “Goodbye Ayiti” and “Goodbye crèche”.
Finally, we taxied down the runway, as I held Marie Line’s
hand, looked into her eyes as she stared back into my tear filled eyes, with
those eyes of hers that pierce my heart.
Those were the eyes that stared up at me from the one picture I had of
her in the old orphanage, the day I found out that Jaline had a sister. As the plane increased its speed, Jaline
bounced up and down, looking out the window, Marie Line looked back and forth
as we went faster and FINALLY the wheels left the ground, the plane pointed up
and we were off. It really happened, the
plane left the ground and Samantha, Marie Line, Jaline, and I were really on
our way! Surreal. Absolutely.
No other way to describe it. Happy
tears, as mommy explained to the girls.
Joy! Relief! Au revoir Ayiti! I’ll
be back, but it’s time these girls finally come home.
As I tried to soak in the reality of what had just happened,
I knew our next hurdle was US immigration.
Oh, Don’t worry, we enjoyed the flight.
Papi quickly moved over to Marie Line’s seat, she hopped on my lap, and
the sticker book came out. The crayons
came out. Disney princess coloring
books. Snacks. Pretzels, cookies, cheese and crackers, a Kit
Kat and juice. Of course, Jaline saved
some to bring to her brother and sisters.
Before we knew it, it was time to prepare for landing. I couldn’t wait for those wheels to touch
down, because American soil means the girls become US Citizens. Finally, those
wheels touched the ground and a sense of relief hit me. They’re not going back! This is for real! After all those months, trips, and heartache,
it was officially official!!
I was able to enjoy that for a few moments until my thoughts
shifted back to rushing out of the airplane, rushing to customs, and trying to
clear customs and get on our plane in two hours (which normally doesn’t happen. It was so not-encouraging when our first
customs agent asked to see our paperwork and asked when our connecting flight
was. When she heard that we were leaving
in 2 hours, her response was “didn’t they tell you it would take longer than
that to clear customs” and Samantha responded with “that’s ok we have lots of
people praying”. Well, we entered a
waiting room and waited, and listened to a door click repeatedly as agents
entered and left. As I heard each click,
I turned back to the door to see if our paperwork was done. Fortunately, as we waited, Samantha changed our
daughters into the cutest, most perfect dresses you can imagine for a welcome
home. It all gets a bit easier when you
are captivated by the huge smiles, twirls, and beauty of your daughters. They may have captured my heart wearing ill-fitting
tattered clothing but they were ready to emerge from this process as princesses
and a testament to our Lord’s handiwork.
Well, the door finally clicked for us, an agent came out holding two
passports, called their names, and told us we were all set, in less than an
hour. Done. Finished. Fini! That was it! All that was left to do was get on that
flight and introduce the girls to some of their extended family and friends
that were waiting for our 11:15 pm arrival.
One more flight. More
excited looks out the airplane windows.
More excited comments mixing creole and English. Many games of Uno. Fortunately, they each took a nap. After arriving in Detroit, we were greeted by
our three oldest children, family, and dear friends. Papi got to take a step back and share his
precious daughters with each of them. I’ve
been so excited for everyone to meet our amazing girls. They are joyful, beautiful, and captivating
but you would never know that they are the same children that stole my heart
over two and a half years ago. There are
only a few people who saw first-hand how desperate Jaline’s health was 32
months ago, when I prayed nightly that our Lord would heal her and keep her
alive until I could bring her home. I
prayed and begged that the few people I knew in Haiti would do everything they
could to make sure she was fed and cared for until we could get her out of that
orphanage and under better care. Carrie
Miller and Pat Curtis, thank you for loving my Jaline and being the hands of
our Lord, in that desperate time.
If you meet my Jaline today, you will never know just how
bad it was. You will see a completely
transformed child. It will be hard to
imagine that her desperation, lifelessness, and starvation made it impossible for
me to look away. I never could have
imagined that the amazing child that sleeps in our home tonight, would blossom
from that frail child I met in August 2010.
I never saw Jaline smile during my first two trips to Haiti, yet it is
her infectious smile that captivates those who meet her today. If you are new to our story, you might want
to read back to the beginning, because we started with one and ended up with
two sisters. The Lord had bigger plans
for us. His timeline was also a lot
different from mine! I’ve believed from
the beginning that Jaline’s story was a lot bigger than her. I had no idea that it would include her
amazing sister Marie Line, and I have no idea how it will impact those who
hear.
I do know that I had no idea a few years ago that adoption
would be in our family’s future. I never
could have conceived of this journey we have been on. I do know that I thought my dear friends were
crazy when they decided to adopt, a few years ago, after having four children already. I had no idea that this father of three
amazing children would be bringing home two more daughters, when most people
are preparing to clear out rooms and send their kids off to college. I had no idea until I opened my heart and
said “Lord, I’m all in.” On August 21,
2010, as I prepared to fly down to Haiti for the 1st time, I wrote “ I pray that my eyes and heart are
open to those things I need to see. Lord
please show me your heart for me. Show
me your path. Use me as you wish… I fall
humbly before you with a willing heart.
My heart is wide open. I bow
before you and rest in your will. Please
continue to open doors and lead me in your path…” I share this because I never could have
imagined that adoption was in our family’s future. I know it wasn’t in my plans, but I’ve
learned I need to have an open and willing heart so I can see the beauty of our
Lord’s handiwork. I know I’ll always struggle
with the reality of millions of orphans in this world. I know I can’t make a difference for all of
them, but I know that in one way or another we are all called to care for them.
I know I am blessed today, as my daughters sleep in their
new beds. I will confess that I was
scared that it would be a rough transition, regardless of how much time I had
spent with the girls previously. My
worst fear was trying to get my daughters on the plane and them protesting and
not wanting to leave. Yet, the reality
is, they haven’t stopped smiling and giggling since we got to Haiti last
Saturday. They embrace their mommy, as
if they were formed in her womb. Jaline
woke this morning and afternoon and immediately crawled into bed to lie next to
her mommy. This is how the girls started
each day in Haiti. While we may be in the midst of a Honeymoon, it’s been an
amazing Honeymoon, and all five of our children have been laughing and playing
together, as their bonds tighten. We
know from other adoptive families that challenges often arrive later, but we
will continue to pray that the girls transition smoothly to their new
lives. So far, it’s been truly
amazing! They seem so ready to be
here. They put their winter coats and gloves
on and went outside to play today (life in Michigan). Soccer, tennis, basketball, they tried it all
as long as their brother and sister were playing with them. Marie Line stepped away from family movie
night tonight, so she could play with all the new bows, barrettes, hair bands, and
hair decorations that she found from mommy.
Good times! Good night and God
Bless! Todd